Hey There

Jul 23
theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

Jul 23

thatfunnyblog:

Sleeping Beauty: A summary

Jul 23

simonleboner:

Day #395829275916194

I still don’t find channing tatum attractive

Jul 23
sneakyfeets:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
The End.

dump her

sneakyfeets:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

The End.

dump her

Jul 22
blackbarmitzvahs:

Can you imagine the conversation though?
Queen: I’m going
Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…
Queen: I’m going I want cake 
Chief of Staff:
Queen: 
Chief of Staff: 
Queen: I want cake

blackbarmitzvahs:

Can you imagine the conversation though?

Queen: I’m going

Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…

Queen: I’m going I want cake 

Chief of Staff:

Queen: 

Chief of Staff: 

Queen: I want cake

Jul 22
Jul 20

cousinmaeby:

Women are just like the woods: mysterious and full of wolves.

Jul 20

doctor who meme | nine scenes (3/9)

↳ i could do so much more! | the end of time part II

Jul 20

choochoobear:

tastefullyoffensive:

If Disney Princesses Were Actually Sloths by Jen Lewis

Previously: Nicolas Cage as Disney Princesses

Give unto me.

Jul 20

commandersheena:

In one of my film classes last semester we had to tell a story in 3 pictures for a mini assignment so my friend and I did this